Emotions

Keep Your Head

  • by ben
You might have seen the dramatic and vibrant trailer for the new “Alice Through The Looking Glass” movie. There’s a very catchy song penned by P!nk in the background which caught my attention the other day… “Remember, what the dormouse said… Keep Your Head!” In the classic Lewis Carroll story, the Queen of Hearts is a controlling, aggressive and impulsive leader. She is in a position of power and she knows it. Her words have power; life or death. The Queen uses that power to manipulate and bridle her subjects to do her will. And if they refuse…? Well you know what happens…

Today I want to explore a little about our words, the language we use, the heart behind it and how keeping your head is not just about protecting yourself but protecting others.

My husband, Ben has been working really hard this week on his vision talk for Ivy Kingsway as well as his final essay of the year for WTC (his part-time theology degree course). Essay weeks are always a crazy one for us as the completion of an essay takes up every remaining minute in a week. It is fantastic to see him thriving and loving studying theology and I wouldn’t want him to stop, but there is an unfortunate understanding in our house that essay week is a write off for family time. Disappointingly, essay week can bring out the Queen of Hearts in me.

Emotions like anger are funny things and can take over very speedily if you let them (and no I’m not pregnant!) Earlier this week I let that anger and frustration out. It all got too much and I really snapped at my eldest son. As I looked at my boy’s fearful face after a speedy & unnecessarily harsh response it completely broke my heart. I need to get better at keeping my head… taking a moment… just to breathe. But there must also be more I can do to help prevent this from happening, and ways to stop when I feel the old red monarch rise up inside.

“Set a guard over my mouth, Lord; keep watch over the door of my lips.” (Psalm 141:3)

We’re into drama as a generation – there’s a whole movie genre dedicated to it. We are entertained by seeing people fight, row & ultimately become wounded in some way by the words they’ve spoken or that have been spoken over them. For me, it’s ‘Made In Chelsea‘ or ‘Grey’s Anatomy‘ but for others it could be an intense action movie or high school rom-com. Why do we like the drama? Maybe it is because watching people fly off the handle makes us feel better about ourselves, because surely we’re not that bad!? The Bible says: “What you say flows from what is in your heart.” (Luke 6:45). Words are vessels for power. How’s my mouth been this week, how’s my heart? Seemingly, not too great!

“Changing the way you talk will change your heart.” Joyce Meyer

This challenge is a little bit of a chicken and egg situation though, as we need to keep both mouth and heart in check because they directly impact each other. If my mouth speaks words of life then that will affect my heart – and if my heart is aligned with Jesus’ then that will have a direct impact on the words I speak.

So how do we balance these?

  • Speak the language of our Creator, God. He made us in His image and loves us no matter what; whether we return that love or not. He sees us as His children and says we are beautiful, strong, courageous, capable of anything. Are we reading, believing and speaking His life giving words or do we ?
  • Be grateful. We say this to children, but do we say it over ourselves? Are we full of thanks? For our families, our spouses, our work, our homes, our friends? When we start believing and speaking out our thanks we can change the condition of our heart.
  • Read & recite until it goes in. If you’re struggling with something; anger, unforgiveness, pain, insecurity… speaking a better word over your situation, God’s truth can literally be life changing.
  • Spend time with the one who seeks out your heart. Talk to God, read His word, stick on some worship music and just be. He’s in the business of mending hearts!

I guess what my challenge to myself this week is to keep my head… and my heart!

Faith

Eternal Purses

  • by ben

Provide Purses for yourself that will not wear out, a treasure in Heaven that will never fail.
Luke 12:33

What am I doing that provides & fills eternal purses?

What even is an eternal purse? A purse that doesn’t wear out, get old, fall apart? A life impacted, strengthened by the weight of the treasure inside that doesn’t corrode or rust?

So often I focus on our family finances and how God will provide for our needs, our treasures. I’ve looked through Luke 12 in the past and I often focus on this challenging passage that comes before the purse reference:

“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear. For life is more than food, and the body more than clothes. Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds! Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life?Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?” (vs. 22-26)

These words are often such a great comfort as they remind me again & again that God will provide and that I have nothing to worry about… but how often do I go past that comfort of mydirect needs, and look to fill the purse of another.

I can so often hope and pray for “random blessings” – cash in envelopes, bills paid, spontaneous gifts left on our doorstep, but how often am I looking to be the one giving them? Years ago we set up a ‘blessings budget’ as part of our monthly envelope system, but I can’t remember the last time I used it for anything other than regular birthday presents.

What is my ‘much’?

From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded.” (vs. 48)

The obvious answer would be just my treasure, my money- the pennies and pounds that go in and out of our account every month. Generosity through finance is an incredible thing to do – literally putting your money where your mouth is, even when you don’t feel like you can do it. We tithe to our church and love supporting some incredible charities, but I feel like my “much” is my finances and some! The pounds automatically go out of our account and get put into a bucket on a Sunday, but what about the rest of the “much”?

When I think about the other “much” I have been blessed with, I think about:

  • My Time
  • My Home
  • My Children
  • My Marriage
  • My Friends & Family
  • My Faith, Grace, Hope, Peace, Freedom in Jesus

It can be easy to focus how those things serve me… like walking around with a great collection of colourful balloons. I enjoy them looking pretty all tied together, holding them tightly in my hand – but what would happen if I let go and passed them on? Have you ever seen a child’s face light up when you pass them a balloon?

Am I doing much with my ‘much’?

I know that I can get five more minutes of peace in an evening if I skip story time with the boys. Having no one over for dinner is a lot less effort than cooking (which is not my strong suit anyway!) Sitting playing on my phone instead of talking to my husband about his busy day is often a welcome distraction. Saying “I’ll pray for you” is a lot more convenient than turning up and actually being there for someone in their time of need & walking it with them. Keeping shtum about the incredible Saviour who I know loves me more than anything is much easier than being bold and sharing that phenomenal message with my friends & colleagues.

How can I create indestructible purses that will make a difference to another’s pocket for eternity?